It wasn’t until I was in another hemisphere that I realized how far I had sunken into the dark hole of victimization. Suddenly, on the other side of the planet, with mom, dad, brothers, and sisters (and their ‘step‘- equivalents) outside of my blame-range, I was forced to face up to reality. Reality was simple: yes, my parents and their divorce had complicated things unnecessarily, but the fact was that it was my choices all along the way that led me to where I was. And at the time, I was cold and alone (Russia, if you haven’t guessed by now). As I pondered long and hard I learned that the power to be happy was in my control, regardless of where I was, or what my (or my parent’s) past had been. I soon realized that I was unhappy because I was unable to forgive my parents for their short comings and take responsibility for who I was. When I realized that I needed to forgive my parents for their mistakes a second thought dawned upon me: I wanted them to forgive me. I had not been able to see them as mortals. I had not only expected perfection from them, but felt justified in demanding it.
Mother’s Day, 2005 I rose to the occasion by asking my parents to forgive me for not seeing all the good they had given me, and for holding them emotionally hostage for their decision to get a divorce.
I like your comments here, Timmy. First of all, you show that we don't all come from the perfect setting, in the perfect home, with perfect skills. Secondly, you demonstrated a perfect example of how imperfect people can rise above their situations and be just a little bit better than the day before. Thanks timmy.
ReplyDeleteTim, I think there are several points that you bring up. I agree that someof the most difficult tasks we will undertake will be the simple things like saying sorry. You also brought up that rising to the occasion is something personal. Althought a country might rise to an occasion at a certain time, most of the occasions to which we will need to rise will ones that will be very personal. We personally need to rise to the occasion regardless of how others around us act. In fact, I would go as far as to say, I think we need to rise to an occasion expecially when those around us aren't necessarily supporting or encouraging us. The reason David had to fight Goliath was because no one else would fight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real. I was going to write about some junky experiences in my life, but I resorted toward another vein. It is bizarre how we identify some things as normal for ourselves because that is how we have always known it, and therefore, we do not think it can change. Just as you have shown, even the deepest scars can heal, even if they are never forgotten.
ReplyDeleteTim: I also appreciate your real reflection. I resonate with your feelings. It is amazing how hearts can heal when we let go of the bitterness. It was a real revelation to me that when there is a problem in my heart it is me who needs to repent.
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